On Sexuality.

Growing up in the United States, it is not uncommon to encounter the subject of sexuality, particularly when talking about advertising, censorship, and socialization. However, what is usually left out of discussions of sexuality is the over-sexualization/repression of sexuality in America.

It seems strange to think of repressed sexuality and too much sexuality as being interrelated. For one, having one’s sexuality be repressed means that it is forbidden, in some ways, to come to light. Meanwhile, having too much sexuality means that it appears everywhere, and is done so in a very “in your face” sort of way. For however strange it seems for these two to be related, they very much go hand-in-hand.

Take, for example, the following ads and images:

Pictured above are the following – an ad for Smirnoff brand vodka, an ad for Candies men’s and women’s lines, and the latest urinals called the “Kisses urinals”.

In our society, it is okay to use these images to sell things (and it’s okay for a man to urinate into a woman’s mouth, yes?). However, when you get to images such as these:

It turns into a problem and the above images become:

So, what we learn is that it is okay to sexualize a woman for a product, and to sexualize the idea of a woman for the purposes of bodily functions, but when it comes to a surgical procedure or consensual entertainment, it is not okay to see a breast nipple (or nipple jewel).

The nipple is, apparently, what makes a breast.

Watching the film Coming To America on Comedy Central, the other day, I learned that it is not okay for a woman to say,

“The royal penis is clean, Your Highness.”

but it is okay for this to be said:

“A royal queen needs only to have a pretty face, a firm backside, and big breasts like Casaba Melons.”

The difference? One was discussing a body part in a non-sexual manner, the other was discussing a body part in a sexual manner. The major difference, however, is which body part belonged to whom.

The United States, obviously, has a problem with sexuality. However, the problem is not that it is not okay to say “penis” and that it is okay to say ‘breast” on network television – this is only a product of what the underlying problem is.

The problem is that in the United States, we focus entirely too much on the phrase “sex sells,” all the while having governmental agencies such as the FCC determining what is moral and what is not moral. Using sex to push a product – moral, using sex for entertainment and in conversation – immoral.

Only in the United States is the government allowed to repress us, sexually. Only in the United States could a governmental leader be threatened with impeachment for lying about a sexual act (and extramarital affair). And, I can’t say this for certain, but I’m pretty sure that the United States is the only country whose states have/had anti-sodomy laws.

It is hard to preach tolerance and acceptance to a society of people who are afraid of their own sexualities.

That is the problem that the United States has – it is afraid of its sexuality.

The United States, in my mind, is similar to a pre-pubescent child, or perhaps even a child going through the early stages of puberty. It is unsure about sex, and is curious about sex but is afraid to admit that it is curious about it. Thus, instead of talking about it, asking the necessary questions, and attempting to explore the unknown, it uses the images it may have found hidden in a box in its parents’ closet. It becomes so obsessed with those images that it uses it for “locker room talk” and builds up its ego by lying to its friends about its sexual experiences, and essentially, does this for so long that it becomes afraid of sex.

The problem with this is that, in this society, the wrong things become the target in the crusade against sex. In a society run in this manner, an image that is the most nonsexual image imaginable (a breast being operated on) gets censored, while a highly sexual image (a woman face down on a couch wearing a dress, where only through a magnifying bottle can you see that it is unzipped) is not. Where what a president does on his own time, in privacy is reprimanded, but highly sexualized urinals can run rampant in the public eye.

Only in a society run in this way would a group of designers think that it is okay to make a line of thongs for children called “Kiddie Kandy”:

Only in a society such as this are young teens under the impression that walking around half naked is okay.

I leave you with this thought – if the United States were much more open about just what sexuality is, how sexuality should be used, and what actually is sexy, perhaps our vision of what is and what is not acceptable wouldn’t be so skewed. Perhaps some of the ads we see, some of what is seen as fashionable, what language is deemed “okay” for network television would be more realistic.

Perhaps some of what is seen wouldn’t be so shocking. Perhaps “sex” wouldn’t sell so much.