Words By S.

Tuesday, 22 August 2006

Snakes On A Plane.

Filed under: Film — S @ 9:53 am

As a movie lover, I have seen a multitude of different films ranging between genres, budgets, target demographics and so on and so forth. Over the years, I have been in and out of a multitude of different theatres. I have been in and out of a multitude of different types of crowds. I have even been to a multitude of different movie events.

Never before have I experienced anything even remotely close to the magnitude of Snakes On A Plane.

To preface – I had been anxiously anticipating and awaiting the film’s arrival for a year. It started from the very moment that I heard about it. Back before, “motherfucking snakes!” was written into the script. My excitement permeated my environment and caused my friends to be excited about it as well.

We just knew that we would have to see this opening night.

On Thursday, 17 August, at 10:00 p.m. a friend and I loaded into the car and hustled down to the theatre where we would have the most amazing movie-going experience in our personal histories.

The theatre was packed. Chock full of people that were as excited and anticipatory as ourselves. In fact, you could feel it in the air. It was akin to that feeling you get before getting on the most exciting and terrifying rollercoaster ever – sort of queasy with butterflies in your stomach, yet at the same time absolutely thrilled and sweating with intrigue.

The lights dimmed, the previews came and went, and the opening credits started.

The most deafening cheer came when the name Samuel L. Jackson came up on screen. The only thing to make that one pale in comparison is the cheer and applause that occurred when “Snakes On A Plane” appeared on screen.

From there, it was just waves and waves of hysterical comments – “Shut the fuck up and get on the plane already!” – and applause and laughter, with moments of silence in between.

At the end of it, the entire theatre erupted in applause, whistles, shouting, and everything else you could think of, to show appreciation.

And everyone wanted to do it all over again.

I had the chance to repeat this on Monday, 21 August, at 7:30 p.m. when that same friend and I went to the special screening of the film (at a completely different theatre) that included and question and answer session with Dave Dalassandro, the writer of the original script.

This time, the movie seemed to whizz by at supersonic speed. The crowd was very different, as well. There was still the cheering and applause, but it seemed low-key in comparison to the Thursday night screening. The crowd at this one was also seemingly more pretentious than the Thursday night crowd.

But, I guess that’s what happens when you bring in the original writer.

Dave Dalassandro is a man of many anecdotes. He can definitely be quite funny, and can tell a mean story. Those were his good qualities.

Far outranked by his bad qualities. He was completely embittered that his serious suspense/thriller was turned into this instant cult classic, B movie starring Samuel L. Jackson in the most ridiculous film ever.

Which, by the way, hit number one at the box office.

No, Venom starring Bruce Campbell was long gone, and replaced by Snakes On A Plane starring Samuel L. Jackson.

Not only was this man embittered, but he was also sadly mistaken if he was under the impression that his serious suspense/thriller that would have starred Bruce Campbell would have been so serious.

He was also a fan of selectively choosing which audience members he acknowledged, and which he snubbed and ignored. To this, I say: Dave Dalassandro, you are lucky that your script was even picked up, let alone that it reached this caliber.

Count your blessings, sir. Count them long and count them hard.

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1 Comment »

  1. Thanks for the comment, mother fucker.

    Hey, I am about to get drunk and fix my mom’s sewing machine.

    Comment by Angela — Saturday, 26 August 2006 @ 3:32 pm | Reply


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